OVERCOMING OBSTACLES WESLEY PAUL WAITES FOUND A NEW LIFE; NOW HE WORKS TO HELP OTHER FATHERS FIND THEIRS.(LOCAL) - The Virginian-Pilot (Norfolk, VA)

Byline: VANDANA SINHA, STAFF WRITER

VIRGINIA BEACH -- Six men stand in a close circle, singing a soulful melody in the Department of Social Services third-floor waiting room.

They're telling a story, through song, about a man struggling to rise above his weaknesses and build better relationships with his children and their mother. A man who learns patience, compassion and love for himself.

Each day I pray.

That you're okay.

In every way.

Being all that you can be.

Before your life slips away.

They're more than just words to the verse's soloist, Wesley Paul Waites. The music is his life story, and how he turned it around before it slipped away. Now, the 35-year-old Lake Edward resident spends his days working for various community organizations such as Virginia Beach's Seton House boys' home, teaching other young men the importance of fatherhood.

And he tries to uplift his neighborhood by putting together its largest annual basketball tournament, which starts today.

It's the second year for the tournament, in memory this time of Brenda Williams, a neighborhood mom who died last week of cancer. Waites expects to recruit 24 teams of adults and kids this year and raise $1,500 to pay for the equipment, catering, T-shirts and booths. Last year, about 1,200 people showed up to watch and play. This year, he hopes it will be 1,500.

It's a long way from where Waites came, growing up in the Park Place section of Norfolk.

In high school, Waites hung with the bad crowd, the ones who draped themselves across the street corners and sold drugs for a living.

He slacked through school, earning a diploma only to take a string of dead-end jobs detailing cars. He said he was nowhere near marriage material for his girlfriend, whom he's been dating for 12 years now.

But he's changed all that. Slowly, he's learned how to confront his problems, with support group sessions and song writing - two of his biggest means for free expression. Now, clean of the drug scene for six years, he wants to teach what he's learned to others, and help his struggling neighborhood by organizing events such as the basketball tournament.

``I want to inspire others to take control of their lives,'' Waites said.

Back at Social Services, the group of men throw out song ideas for an educational show for fathers across the region, which is scheduled to debut next month. Something more contemporary comes to someone's mind, and Waites jumps on it, singing it for the rest of the room.

I believe the children are our future.

Teach them well and let them lead the way.

Show them all the beauty they possess inside.

Give them a sense of pride. . .

For Waites, his three children have been his pride, spurring him from a downward spiral to an upward turn. The birth of his first son, Chauncey, thrust a mirror in front of his face six years ago. It showed him he needed to become the kind of father his son could look up to.

He started on the basketball courts three years ago, coaching young players for the Central Bayside Athletic Association.

``He has an impact in their lives, and it gave him more value on himself,'' said Loliest D. Breckenridge, a close friend and a coach for the Bayside Athletic Association. ``So he kept going.''

Two years ago, Waites walked into a Fathers-in-Training seminar, hosted by Social Services to help fathers gain parenting skills. There, Waites slowly started sharing past ordeals and future hopes for his children.

Now, out of 700 men who've participated, he's one of only two original graduates who still goes to meetings.

``Fathers, we got the best job in the world, but we take it so lightly,'' he said. ``You're molding the future.''

The seminars helped Waites turn a dead end into a one-way street toward the future - reaching fathers to help children.

Waites was one of the first participants to take the fatherhood skills he's learned into his Lake Edward community, into the homes of guys who can't fit the seminars into their schedules, and onto the basketball courts to recruit more men.

He's also working for such community organizations as Seton House. He's an outreach worker for the South Hampton Roads Fatherhood Coalition, four parent-oriented groups, and the Norfolk Fatherhood Initiative Healthy Start, run by the Norfolk Health Department.

``He wants to make a difference in his life, and in the life of his loved ones,'' said Brian S. Hawkins, coordinator for Fathers-in-Training. ``And he wants to make a difference in the community.

``He wants to show people that even if you hit rock bottom, that you can still make it up top,'' Hawkins said.

Last year, with the support of Beach Social Services, Waites fathered his own community creation - the now-annual Street Ball Classic basketball tournament.

But his real babies are his three sons, Chauncey, 6, LaQuan, 3, and Montrell, 2. They keep him loyal to the right path, working to overcome problems that still plague him.

But that's okay.

He sings the next song with his choral group, his voice melting in with those of the other men.

I believe I can fly.

I believe I can fly.

I believe I can fly.

CAPTION(S):

Color Photo

MOTOYA NAKAMURA/The Virginian-Pilot

Wesley Waites with his children, from left to right, Chauncey Andrews, 6, Montrell Andrews, 18 months, and LaQuan Andrews, 3.

Graphic

WANT TO GO?

The tournament starts today with a March for Unity at the intersection of Weblin Place and Stephanie Court at 1:30 p.m. The tournament starts at 2:30 at the Lake Edward Basketball Court on Hampshire Lane. Sunday game time is the same, unless there is rain. Call 671-1103, for details.